Monday, April 27, 2009

PROVING ALLAHU TA’ALA’S EXISTENCE



SERENITY FOUNTAIN
(HUZUR PINARI)



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25 April 2009 / 30 Rabi' al-Akhir 1430

PROVING ALLAHU TA'ALA'S EXISTENCE

    We do not see Allahu ta'ala. But all the time wherever we look we see His work, His creation. Whatever we see, for example, the sun, the moon, the stars, mountains, stones, human beings, animals, trees, day and night, summer and winter, the creator of all these things is undoubtedly Allahu ta'ala. For no other creature, nor even the most intelligent group of men, could ever create any of His magnificent creatures — not even an ant! Was Pasteur able to create a microbe? Was Edison able to invent a light equivalent to sunlight? Was Galileo able to change the order of the earth's revolution around the sun? Who is the creator of the human brain, which invented the radio and enabled men to fly in the skies and travel beneath the sea?

    To deny this grand existence, one must be either an idiot, deeply ignorant or the victim of a dense stubbornness. Some qualify creation as Nature. There are some who deny Allahu ta'ala's existence by saying that the great universes in space, the visible creations of the world, the earth's rotation, day and night, the four seasons and all things are the result of the forces of nature and natural laws. These people should be asked: Is there not a master over this creation?

    We believe that any of the trivial things made by man must be accepted as the product of human will and intelligence. Therefore, is it possible for this immense creation to have created itself? Could an unconscious and dull nature create the order and equilibrium between all that we see before us? Is it possible for a normal mind or even a naive thinker to accept such words from unbelievers?


Malaysia Catholics oppose non-'Allah' Bible

A Malay-language Bible that does not use the word "Allah" has caused controversy among Malaysian Catholics, as the church fights a court case to guarantee its right to use the word, according to press reports on Sunday. The Catholic Herald newspaper, in its Sunday edition, criticized


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Saturday, April 25, 2009

An Islamic Perspective on Sexuality

In Islam, sexuality is considered part of our identity as human beings. In His creation of humankind, God distinguished us from other animals by giving us reason and will such that we can control behavior that, in other species, is governed solely by instinct. So, although sexual relations ultimately can result in the reproduction and survival of the human race, an instinctual concept, our capacity for self-control allows us to regulate this behavior. Also, the mere fact that human beings are the only creatures who engage in sexual relations once they are beyond the physical capacity for reproduction, sets us apart from all other species which engage in sex for the sole purpose of reproduction.

Marriage

For Muslims, based on an understanding of Qur'an and hadith, sexual relations are confined to marriage between a wife and husband. Within this context, the role of a healthy sexual relationship is extremely important. Having and raising children are encouraged among Muslims. Once a child is born, the parents are expected to care for, nurture and prepare the child for adulthood, with a goal of imparting Islam so that the indivdual is equipped with knowledge and willingness to accept and practice Islam and thus become a productive member of society.

Beyond childbearing, sexual relations assume a prominent role in the overall well-being of the marriage. In reading hadith, one is impressed with the Prophet's ability to discuss all issues including those dealing with human sexuality. The topics range from questions about menstruation to orgasm. He apparently was not embarassed by such inquiries, but strove to adequately guide and inform the Muslims who asked. Both Qur'an and hadith allude to the nature of sexual relations as a means of attaining mutual satisfaction, closeness and compassion between a wife and husband. "Permitted to you on the night of the Fasts is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments."(2:187) Also, Muslims are advised to avoid sexual intercourse during menses so as not to cause discomfort to the woman (2:222).

The goal of marriage is to create tenderness between two individuals and satisfy the very basic human need for companionship. "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; in this are signs for those who think."(30:21) The hadith which address this issue are numerous. The Prophet himself, while not divulging all aspects of his own sexual life, was known for his nature as a loving husband who was sensitive and physically demonstrative. In several hadith, he speaks about the importance of foreplay and speaking in loving terms during sexual relations. Again, the concept of mutual satisfaction is elucidated in a hadith which advises husbands to engage in acts that enable a woman to achieve orgasm first. (see Ihya ulum-id-din (Revival of Religious Learning) by Imam Ghazzali, chapter on Marriage). Sexual dissatisfaction is considered legitimate grounds for divorce on the part of either wife or husband.

Sex Outside of Marriage

Naturally, attraction between individuals is necessary to initiate a relationship that leads to marriage. But sexual relations can obviously take place between any couple, consenting or not. Because of the far-reaching ramifications of sexual relations outside of marriage, Muslims are prohibited by God from such behavior. And because the process that leads to physical attraction and ultimately intimacy is part of human nature, Muslims are advised to behave in a way and avoid circumstances that could potentially result in extra- or pre-marital sex. Modesty in dress and behavior between women and men figures prominently as a means of exhibiting self-control. Similarly, unmarried couples are admonished against spending time alone in isolated places where they would be more likely to act on their feelings and thus be less inhibited.

Some of the negative results of sex outside of marriage include the potential for unwanted pregnancies, transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, disruption of the family and marriage (in cases of adultery), and emotional and psychological difficulties resulting from the lack of commitment associated with most relationships outside of marriage. As in other religions, extra- and pre-marital sex are considered major sins. Muslims believe that God does not simply forbid or allow behavior whimsically, but does so with our best interest at heart, guiding us away from potentially destructive behavior and towards behavior that allows us to achieve our most fulfilling potentials as human beings. For a similar reason, Muslims give up the consumption of alcohol because of faith in God's wisdom that the negative effects outweigh the positive for individuals and society at large. "Whoever submits his whole self to God, and is a doer of good, has grasped indeed the most trustworthy handhold..."{(31:22)

Contraception

Although Muslims are encouraged to have children, contraception is not prohibited. The method used during the time of the Prophet was coitus interruptus (known as 'azl) about which several hadith exist. His basic response when asked if such a practice was lawful was that individuals can do as they will, but if God intends for a child to be born, she/he will be born. Some interpreted this to mean that preventing pregnancy is not recommended because child-bearing is preferred; yet the act is not specifically prohibited. Also, other hadith stipulate that 'azl could not be practiced without the wife's consent as it might interfere with her sexual satisfaction or desire to bear children.

By analogy, the methods that exist today as contraceptives are lawful for Muslims to use at their discretion. Basically, it is our position that any method that does not involve pregnancy termination is permissible. Imam al-Ghazzali (see previous reference) lists a number of legitimate reasons for practicing contraception, including financial difficulty, emotional or psychological hardship of having many children, and even the preservation of beauty and health.

It should be clear from this discussion, that since sexual relations should be confined to marriage, contraception is so limited. It is not considered a means of easing the difficulties associated with sexual relations outside of marriage.

Abortion

Abortion is viewed in the same context as having relevance only regarding pregnancies occurring in marriage, again, not as a response to conception as a result of extra- or pre-marital relationships. Early Muslim jurists considered abortion lawful for a variety of reasons until 40 -120 days after conception (first trimester). This was based on interpretation of Qur'an (22:4 and 23:12-14) and hadith that implied that ensoulment or 'life' did not exist until after that time (see Sex and Society in Islam, B.F. Musallam, Cambridge University Press, 1983). Contemporary thinkers, considering available technology that allows visualization of the embryonic heartbeat at four weeks of gestation, are of the position that life begins much earlier than previously thought, and therefore to terminate would be to take a life illegally.

The majority of Muslims today believe that abortion is allowed only if the mother's life is significantly endangered by the pregnancy. Some also feel that the presence of certain congenital anomalies (particularly those that are lethal) make abortion lawful. Also, some scholars consider abortion appropriate in pregnancies resulting from rape or incest.

Homosexuality

Human beings are capable of many forms of sexual expression, orientation and identification. The existence of such a variety again is not found in any other species and thus further demonstrates our uniqueness among God's creations. The potential for behavior, such as homosexuality, does not mean that its practice is lawful in the eyes of God. Therefore, individuals are expected to control themselves and not act on their desires if such action is contrary to the guidelines of Islam. Homosexuality, like other forms of sexual relations outside of heterosexual marriage, is thus prohibited. In any discussion of prohibited acts follows the question of what happens if they nevertheless occur. The Qur'an and hadith are explicit regarding severe punishment by the State if a person is convicted of such a crime. However, in order for conviction to take place, the individuals must confess or be accused by at least four eyewitnesses of the act of actual intercourse. Obviously, the likelihood of these criteria being met is small which means that most couples who engage in unlawful acts will not be punished by the State. They will then deal with the consequences of their behavior in this life and will be accountable to God on the Day of Judgement. How He ultimately judges is known only by Him.

Sex Education

Clearly, from the above discussion, Islam is explicit about many aspects of human sexuality. Also, based on the numerous hadith showing the Prophet's willingness to discuss these matters openly, it should be obvious that education about matters related to sex is acceptable. Muslims may disagree about the age at which sex education begins; some don't discuss the subject at all. Explaining anatomy and the changes one's body experiences during puberty are essential for enabling young people to grow up with a healthy self-image. Also, in an age where sexual activity in many countries begins at an early age, Muslim adolescents must be informed to better enable them to deal with peer pressure. Sex education can be taught in a way that informs young people about sexuality in scientific and moral terms. In countries with very diverse populations, such as the United States, the main limitation in developing sex education curricula, particularly in public schools, is the inability to select a universally acceptable moral position. Therefore, young people are given facts and information, and advised that if they choose to engage in sexual relationships, they should take measures to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. The moral and religious aspects of sexuality can be incorporated either in schools of a particular religious denomination or in adjunctive coursework offered by religious institutions. Regardless of the challenges of each society, young people must be adequately informed. Also, in some Muslim communities, individuals are encouraged to marry at young ages. They need to be educated regarding sexuality prior to the marriage such that they know what to expect and can consider their options for birth control prior to consummating the marriage.

Female Genital Mutilation

The practice of clitoridectomy preceded the introduction of Islam in Arabia and in different parts of Africa. This results in severe sexual debilitation of women, who cannot possibly achieve sexual fulfillment -- which is their right as Muslims. Therefore, this practice is totally unIslamic because it is in direct violation of both Qur'an and hadith, which clearly stress the importance of sexual satisfaction for both the husband and wife.

September 1995

copyright (c)1996 Muslim Public Affairs Council


http://www.islamawareness.net/Sex/perspective.html

Divorce in Islam

Divorce

Divorce, in the terminology of the jurists, is "the abolition of the bond of marriage."(1) Only the man is entitled to initiate divorce. Divorce was known in the Arab Peninsula before the lifetime of Muhammad, and it meant a final and immediate dissolution of the marriage contract. The Qur´an, however, introduced new regulations that were not known to its contemporaries.(2)

The judgments regarding divorce occurring in the sources of fiqh can be summarised as follows: Only the man has the right to divorce, and he does not have to give any reasons.(3) Yet it is regarded as abominable, even forbidden by the Hanafites. The Qur´anic basis for divorce comes in the two verses: "Divorce is [pronounced] twice; then honourable retention or setting free kindly" (Sura al-Baqara 2:229), and "O Prophet, whenever you [and other Muslims] divorce women, divorce them when they have reached their period" (Sura al-Talaq 65:1). As to the Hadith, we find evidence for the permissibility of divorce in what `Abdullah Ibn `Umar narrated: that he had divorced his wife while she was menstruating during the lifetime of God's Messenger. `Umar Ibn al-Khattab asked God's Messenger about that. The Messenger of God said, "Order him [your son] to take her back and keep her till she is clean and then to wait till she gets her next period and becomes clean again. Then if he wishes to keep her, he can do so; but if he wishes to divorce her he must do so before having sexual intercourse with her. This is the prescribed period [number of days] which God has fixed for the women meant to be divorced."(4)

Hanifite jurists hold that divorce can be one of the following three: excellent, good, or hateful (the one effected at once). The excellent one is when a man pronounces his wife divorced one time while she is clean, having abstained from having intercourse with her since her previous menstruation, with the intention of remarrying her. The good divorce is when a man pronounces his wife divorced three times; on the first, the second, and the third menstruation respectively, while she is clean, having not had intercourse with her. As to the hateful, or atypical divorce, it is to divorce one's wife twice or three times during her menstruation all at once.(5) A free woman should be pronounced divorced three times, and a bondwoman twice. Hateful divorce is also permissible.(6)

In order for divorce to be effective, no goodwill or proper prayer are required. It is effected by the man's saying, "You are divorced," or "I have divorced you." If a man says, "You are divorced from here till Syria," it is one revocable pronouncement of divorce. If he says, "You will be divorced in Mecca [or at Mecca]," her being divorced will be in effect in all other countries. And if he says, "You are divorced before I marry you," it will be no divorce at all. However, if he says "You are divorced if I do not divorce you," or "until I divorce you," or "when I have not divorced you" and she keeps silent, then divorce is in effect. But if he says, "You are divorced unless I do not divorce you," or "if I have not divorced you," she will not be divorced till her death.(7)The jurists are in agreement that divorce can be effected not only through explicit pronouncement, but by implication or in writing as well.(8) Accordingly, a man can say, "Start on your legal period," "Cleanse your womb," or "You are one [time]!" Jurisprudents have gone into detail in regard to this point.(9) If a man pronounces his wife divorced one time, he has the right to have her back during her legal period without her permission. It is enough for him to say, "I have returned to you," or "I retain you."(10) It seems that man's right to have his wife back had been misused during the lifetime of Muhammad: a man would divorce his wife and "return" to her before her legal period was over in order to divorce her afresh, thus forcing her to pay him back the bridal gift he had given her. This compelled Muhammad to correct this situation, so that we now read in the Qur´an: "When you divorce women, and they have reached their term, then retain them honourably or set them free honourably; do not retain them by force, to transgress; whoever does has wronged himself. Take not God's signs in mockery! .....Fear God, and know that God has knowledge of everything" (Sura al-Baqara 2:231-232), and "If he divorces her finally, she shall not be lawful to him after, until she marries another husband" (Sura al-Baqara 2:230). In confirmation of this judgment, the Hadith has it that: "Rifa`ah's wife said to the Messenger of God, "Rifa`ah divorced me finally, and `Abd al-Rahman married me after him. But what he has [namely his penis] is as [limp as] the border of the garment [this means he was impotent]." The Messenger of God asked, 'Do you perhaps want to return to Rifa`ah?' She said yes. But he said, 'No, not until you enjoy intercourse with [`Abd al-Rahman], and he with you.' "(11)

The Dutch orientalist Juynboll states that Muhammad meant to provide a settlement for women through the Qur´anic statement "until she marries some husband other than him [in between]."(12)

Jurisprudents of all schools of thought believe that a man is not obliged to state any reason if he divorces his wife.(13) Yet some modern writers and scholars claim the contrary. Al-Sabuni says, "If all means of reconciliation between the spouses fail, then divorce is inevitable. One of the necessities that make divorce permissible is suspicion on the part of the husband of his wife's behaviour. For example, if he knows that she cheated him [by committing adultery], will he let her spoil his offspring and ruin his life, or will he divorce her? There are other reasons such as impotence or any other sickness that renders it impossible to have an intercourse, any contagious disease that can be transmitted to the other partner, or any of these various similar reasons. God, high to be praised, made it imperative in His law that divorce should be effected over two separate times in between two periods of cleansing [from the menstruation], as the holy Tradition indicates. If the husband desires to retain her, he can, and if he still wishes to divorce, he then can effect the divorce finally. Only a couple that should not remain wedded, for the good of the family and their own good, will be divorced after all this consideration and long-suffering."(14) Often Muslim writers boast about the Islamic law permitting divorce and the judgments of divorce. They claim that Christianity, and its man-made laws that prohibit divorce except on the basis of adultery, place conditions on it that rendered it next to impossible, which contradicts human nature.(15)

We conclude this chapter with the assertion of al-Aqqad: "The law of the holy Qur´an includes both the divine and the secular aspects of life. All the religious sanctity it includes falls under the fact that marriage was supposed to be stripped of its social and sexual benefit, so that worship of God should prevail against the wills of the spouses."(16)



Polygamy AND Temporary Marriage of Enjoyment

Polygamy

The Qur´an says, "If you fear that you will not act justly towards the orphans, marry such women as seem good to you, two, three, four [at a time]; but if you fear you will not be equitable, then [marry] only one or what your right hands own, so it is likelier you will not be partial" (Sura al-Nisa´ 4:3). Polygamy was a widespread phenomenon in pre-Islamic times, just as it was with the Semitic peoples of the time.(1) Muhammad restricted the number of wives to four. The concubines will be treated in a separate chapter. The old interpreters understood the permission in this verse as the largest number imaginable in a legal marriage: "Do not marry off but from one to four, and add no more. If you are afraid you will not deal fairly, if you marry more than one, then marry one only or those your hand controls so that you will not act unjustly."(2) Polygamy is one of those Qur´anic judgments that could not affirm their existence among the Islamic nations, for most Muslims are married to one wife. It is not only that economical obstacles hinder men from doing that, but, we should not forget, it is due to the social problems this practice creates. Marrying another wife is a disgrace to the family of the first one. Moreover, moderate Muslims attempted to interpret this verse in such a way that suited the requirements of the time. Qasim Amin, for example, held that a Muslim could infer from Sura al-Nisa´ 4:3 that polygamy is forbidden, since justice to all wives, which the Qur´an stated as a stipulation for this sanction, is impossible.(3) Yet, a scrupulous Muslim, who feels called to defend and justify all that was written in his honourable book, quotes from the "old" and the "new" to prove the divine wisdom underlying polygamy. Al-Sabuni says, "Polygamy is an age-old institution, but it was an unorganised chaos before Islam. It was liable to fancy and enjoyment, but Islam made it a means of excellent life. The fact that everybody should know is that polygamy is one of the things that Islam boasts about, since it was able to solve a difficult problem that is considered one of the most complicated ones that nations and societies today suffer from. There is no solution to this problem except by going back to the judgment of Islam and adopting its system."(4) The reasons and justifications that Muslim writers give suggest that polygamy has been enjoined only to honour and favour women. "What shall we do when the balance is upset and the number of women becomes many times more than men? Shall we deprive women of the blessing of marriage and motherhood; and thus let her walk the way of whoredom and vice, as it happened in Europe owing to the increase in number among women after the last world war? Or shall we solve this problem by noble ways that preserve the woman's honour, the family's purity and the wholeness of society? Which is more honourable and more ethical, that woman should be bound with a holy bond in which she joins another woman under the shelter of a man in a legal, noble manner, or that we let her become a mistress or a girlfriend of that man, the relationship between them then being sinful and evil?"(5)

Sayyid Qutb adds the following in his commentary:

In case the wife is barren and the husband still has his natural desire, there are only two ways he can go:

  1. Either to divorce her in order to replace her with another one able to meet man's natural desire to have children.
  2. Or to marry another one and still keep his relationship with the first wife. Some impertinent men and women may undiscerningly prefer the first option. Yet, 99 wives (at least) will heap curses on that person who advises the husband to do that, and thus destroy their homes for no apparent reason. One rarely finds a barren women having any more desire to remarry, but you find often that the barren wife is more secure and relaxed with the little children that the other wife conceives for her husband. They fill the house with activity and joy for her, no matter how miserable she is in her own deprivation.(6)

When reading this sort of defence of polygamy, which sounds ridiculous, it isn't easy to think a great scholar such as Sayyid Qutb did not know about adoption, or did not ask himself what could be done if the man himself is impotent! What is the place of the intimate love relationship between husband and wife? Modern scholars and thinkers do not stop in their defence of polygamy at the "text" and the "reality" only, but they are keen on backing up their viewpoint by the European ideas they hear or read. Al-Sabuni tells us for example: "Christian Germany, whose religion forbids polygamy, has chosen and she found no better choice than that which Islam had already chosen. So Germany permitted polygamy so as to protect the woman from taking prostitution as a profession; which results in onerous damages, the leading one of which is the large number of bastards."(7) It is, of course, unnecessary to add that the Germans have not heard of such a decision. Thus, it appears that Islamic apologists are allowed to circulate lies to further their own cause.

He also quotes (without giving any reference) what a "German female university professor" said: "The solution for the problem of the German woman lies in permitting polygamy. I prefer to be one among ten wives of a successful man than to be the only wife of an insignificant, unsuccessful man. This is not my opinion alone, but the opinion of all the women of Germany."(8)

Mr Sabuni claims that the German youth conference (held in Munich, Germany in 1948) recommended polygamy as a solution for the problem of the increase of women and the lack of men after the Second World War.(9) Aqqad also, quoting one time from the philosophers, and another from the western writers known for their racial tendency, tries to cue the reader in on the universality of polygamy. He says, "Westmark thinks that the matter of polygamy has not been resolved yet in the west as being illegal in all western laws. This issue will be tackled again and again every time the conditions of modern society become harder, in terms of family problems. He wonders in his above-mentioned book, "Will monogamy be the last and only system of the future?" He answers himself, saying, "This question has been answered by different opinions. Spencer thinks that monogamy is the last marital system, and that every change in system must lead up to this end. Dr Le Bon believes that European laws will eventually endorse polygamy. Professor Ehrenfels, however, goes to the extreme of saying that polygamy is necessary for the preservation of the 'Aryan race'. Westmark comments that polygamy gains the upper hand when matters go the way they are supposed to take."(10) The most important of these arguments, listed in the writings of Muslim writers in defence and for the justification of polygamy, can be summed up in four points:

  1. They claim that the number of women in the world exceeds that of men; it passes the ratio of four to one.(11) Polygamy, then, is the best solution for this predicament.
  2. They argue that the period of fertility with man extends to the age of seventy and beyond. Yet, fertility stops with women at the age of fifty or so. So polygamy is a must, since the earth should be populated through reproduction and diffusion.(12)
  3. They talk about actual cases of man's desire to satisfy his natural function (sexual relations) whereas the wife is averse to it due to age or sickness. Polygamy is the sole solution to this problem.(13)

Other things that should be added to the list of special cases for which polygamy is allowed are the prolonged menstrual period of the woman, which prevents the husband from having sex with her, or the strong desire of the adult man for nikah, which cannot be quenched by a single woman, so that man is left with a need for marrying more than one wife to relieve his [agonising] soul.(14)Islam has permitted such men to realise their desire within a legal frame so that Satan should not lead them astray.(15) As to Muhammad Rashid Ridha, he does not list any special cases, but starts off with an assumption that man's nature makes it impossible for him to be satisfied with one woman.(16)

4. The problem of barrenness. On reading the books of modern Muslim scholars and writers who put forward and explain the problem of barrenness in defence of their claim that polygamy is an absolute imperative, one perceives that this is the most powerful argument they have. One should not be astonished at this, since children or the assurance of progeny is the reason for the existence of nikah (which was originally sexual intercourse, or, by way of generalisation, marriage). If we study the biography of Muhammad, we see that the Muslim is in no need of citing social problems, special cases, the decisions reached by "the Conference of Munich", or what a female German professor said to justify polygamy. Muhammad himself, about whom the Qur´an says, "you have a good example in God's messenger" (Sura al-Ahzab 33:21), was the leading example in proving that polygamy in Islam is an established tradition, and not a special revelation. The Messenger of God said, "Whatever I command, that you should adopt, and whatever I forbid you, that you should give over."(17) Sunna (or tradition) is of course the second source of the Islamic Sharia, "of which if someone is ignorant, has no guide in the thick darkness of doubt."(18) This "guide" says about himself, "Marry, for the best person of this [Muslim] nation [i.e., Muhammad] of all other Muslims, had the largest number of wives."(19)

Moderate Muslims, who noticed the faults and imperfections of the Islamic Sharia, have tried to reform the religious system and reconcile it with the requirements of the twentieth century. The first attempt of this kind was that made by the great reformer and thinker Jamal al-Din al-Afghani (1837-1897). He cautioned not to apply this verse because it is impossible to "deal fairly" if a man has more than one wife.(20)

At the turn of the century there arose a discussion among the liberal circles about polygamy, which still stirs a wave of anger and indignation. Arab writers, such as the Egyptian writer Nawal al-Sa`dawi and the Moroccan professor Fatima Marnisi, treated this subject in their writings, which were no less severe than the European social studies in the way they criticise society.

As to the legal position of polygamy in the Islamic world, it now falls under the punishment of law in Turkey and Tunis. In Egypt a law was passed in 1979 that added more restrictions on polygamy in preparation to abolishing it altogether. This law had been suggested by the late president of Egypt, Anwar al-Sadat. The Islamic fundamentalists dubbed it "the law of Jihan al-Sadat". This law stated that a woman can call for divorce once her husband marries another in case of her being pregnant, and that she has the right to keep the house, as well.(21) There are some who think that it is disobedience to God, however, to interpret the verse of polygamy in modern terms.(22)

Temporary Marriage of Enjoyment

Marriage of enjoyment (or pleasure) differs from the conventional marriage in that its aim is not having a regular marital life and begetting children, but to enjoy sexual relations in a "legal" way. The man who practises such a marriage is often someone who spends a long time abroad for any reason, and thus marries a woman temporarily. The period of marriage is limited to the time when the husband leaves the country, and then the marriage is automatically dissolved.

The traditions relating to marriage of enjoyment indicate that Muhammad warranted such practice for his friends especially during the raids (maghazi). Yet, `Umar Ibn al-Khattab strongly opposed it, as he said, "The Messenger of God permitted mut`a [marriage of enjoyment] three times, and after that he forbade it. By God, if I find that anyone practises mut`a, while being married, I will stone him with rocks, unless he brings me four witnesses that the Messenger of God permitted it after he had forbidden it."(1) A tradition in Bukhari claims that he prohibited it.(2) Still, it is a bone of contention between many jurists. It is narrated that `Imran said, "We practised the tamattu` [marriage of enjoyment] in the life-time of the Messenger of God, and then the Qur´an was revealed (3)[regarding tamattu`] and somebody said what he wished [regarding the same] according to his own opinion."(4)

Regardless of the disputes on the details of mut`a in the Sunni schools of thought, one can say that it is equal to fornication, yet the Shiites turned it into some sort of legal marriage. The Sunni jurisprudence, however, allows mut`a, even if it doesn't call it by name. For example, a man may agree to marry a woman in addition to his marriage contract, and bind themselves to divorce as soon as the term they fixed is finished.(5)

Since the Sunni schools of thought all agreed that mut`a was cancelled and prohibited on the basis of traditions narrated about Muhammad,(6) we would like to treat the subject within the Shiite jurisprudence. According to the Shiites, the legality of mut`a is established in both the Qur´an and the Hadith, and in the traditions about their infallible Imams. Their Qur´anic proof is: "and wedded women, save what your right hands own. So God prescribes for you. Lawful for you, beyond all that, is that you may seek, using your wealth, in wedlock and not in licence. Such wives as you enjoy thereby, give them their wages apportionate; it is no fault in you in your agreeing together, after the due apportionate. God is All-knowing, All-wise. Any one of you who has not the affluence to be able to marry believing freewomen in wedlock, let him take believing handmaids that your right hands own; God knows very well your faith; the one of you is as the other. So marry them, with their people's leave, and give them their wages honourably as women in wedlock, not as in licence or taking lovers. But when they are in wedlock, if they commit indecency, they shall be liable to half the chastisement of freewomen. That provision is for those of you who fear fornication; yet it is better for you to be patient. God is All-forgiving All-compassionate" (Sura al-Nisa´ 4:24,25).

Abu `Abdullah from Ja`far al-Sadiq (the sixth Imam of Twelver Shiism) narrated the following about nikah of enjoyment: "God had made it lawful in His Book, and by the mouth of His Prophet, so it is lawful till the day of Resurrection." One day Abu Hanifa said, "O Abu Ja`far, such as you say that, even though `Umar prohibited and forbade it?" He replied, "Even if he did so." He said, "I adjure you by God not to make lawful that which `Umar has declared prohibited." He answered, "You follow the saying of your friend [`Umar], but I follow the saying of the Messenger of God. What your friend said is untrue." Then, `Abdullah Ibn `Umar came forward and said, "Does it go well with you if your wives, daughters, sisters, and cousins do this?" But Abu Ja`far avoided him when he mentioned his wives, daughters, and cousins.(7)

`Abdurrahman narrated: I heard Abu Hanifa asking Abu `Abdullah concerning mut`a, for which he answered, "Which of the two mut`as are you asking about?" He replied, "I have already asked you concerning the mut`a of Pilgrimage, now tell about the mut`a of women in general; is it legitimate?" He answered, "Praise be God! Have you not read the Book of God Most High? It says, 'Since you have thereby sought enjoyment with them, give them their marriage portion as is stipulated.' " Abu Hanifa said, "By God! It is as though I have never read this verse before."(8)

In a tradition ultimately related by `Ali, Abu Hanifa said to Ja`far Ibn al-Nu`man, "O Abu Ja`far, what do you say concerning mut`a; is it lawful?" He replied, "Yes." He asked again, "Then what keeps you from commanding your women to practise it and earn money for you?" Abu Ja`far answered, "Not all professions are desirable, even if they were lawful. Certain folk have certain lots in life and certain social status. But what do you say, Abu Hanifa, concerning [new sweet wine]; don't you claim that it is lawful?" He answered, "Yes." Abu Ja`far asked, "What keeps you then from letting your women stay at taverns selling wine and earning money for you?" Abu Hanifa said, "Tit for tat; and your arrow penetrates even more." The Abu Ja`far said to him, "The verse in Sura al-Ma`arij [70] speaks of prohibiting mut`a, and the tradition of the Prophet also cancelled it." Abu Ja`far replied, "Abu Hanifa, Sura al-Ma`arij is a Meccan Sura, and the verse pertaining to mut`a is Medinan, and your tradition is anyway doubtful and bad." Abu Hanifa said to him, "The verse pertaining to inheritance, as well, speaks of cancelling mut`a." Abu Ja`far answered, "Wedlock has been already established without inheritance." Abu Hanifa asked, "Where do you deduce that from?" Abu Ja`far answered, "If a Muslim man marries a woman of the people of the Book, and then dies, what do you say about her?" He answered, "She does not inherit from him." He said, "See, wedlock is established without inheritance," and they departed.(9)

The Suni schools of thought consider mut`a as abolished on the grounds of Sura al-Mu´minun 23:5, which says, "Believers will succeed! ...who guard their private parts except with their spouses and whomever their right hands may control, since then they are free from blame." Nevertheless, the Shiites claim that this verse is Meccan and that it has been revealed before mut`a was allowed.(10) It seems that the Shiite interpretation is more in harmony with historical reality, since in many credible traditions (that the Sunnis hold as genuine) we have indication of the fact that Muhammad not only allowed marriage of enjoyment, but commanded his friends to practise, as well.(11) Jabir Ibn `Abdillah narrated that "mut`a will remain forever."(12) Ahmad Ibn Hanbal said in Musnad, "God has given permission for the practice of mut`a, and the Messenger of God made it a law."(13) It is evident from the stories related about Muhammad's friends that they had a hard time trying to understand this permission and adapt it to the morals prevailing at that time. Such a fact is vouched for by the above-mentioned statement of `Umar.

We gather from the Shiite traditions that those who seek the "enjoyment of women" are bound by no numerical limitation. Abu `Ubaid narrated that: He mentioned for him the mut`a [and asked] whether it was one of the four [women]. He answered, "Marry a thousand of them; they are hired."(14) The justification that the Shiites give for the marriage of enjoyment is strange. They say that it was warranted for the single man so that he could keep himself restrained (chaste). Abu al-Fath Ibn Yazid narrated: I once asked Abu al-Hasan concerning mut`a, and he answered, "It is lawfully and absolutely warranted for those who are married, as to those who are not, they should keep themselves restrained by mut`a, but if the latter do get married, they are not in need of it, yet it is still warranted for them if they are away [from home]."(15) The reference here is made to the phrase "keep themselves restrained" occurring in Sura al-Nisa´ 4:6, which is utterly irrelevant to the issue of mut`a even according to the best known and oldest Shiite interpretations.(16) It is strange also to know that not all women are fit for mut`a! There are conditions and a description that women have to meet in order to be suitable. The first of these conditions is that the woman has to be a chaste believer. Abu Ja`far was once asked concerning mut`a, and he answered, "mut`a today is not the same as it was before; they were believers then, but today they are not, so ask them."(17) Abu Sara narrated: I asked Abu `Abdillah about it [meaning mut`a], and he said to me, "It is lawful; so only marry a chaste woman, for God Most High said, '...who guard their private parts' (Sura al-Mu´minun 23:5). So do not place your private part where you do not trust your dirham!(18) Whoever wants to marry a woman according to the marriage of enjoyment has to molest her. If she responds with wantonness, then she is not chaste."(19) Muhammad Ibn Abi al-Fudhail narrated: "I asked Abu al-Hasan concerning the wanton beautiful woman; whether it is permissible for a man to enjoy her for a day or more." He said, "If she was known as a prostitute, then she should not be enjoyed or married."(20)

As regards the stipulations for mut`a marriage, they are summed up as follows: Fixed time and fixed hire. Aban Ibn Taghlib narrated: I said to Abu `Abdillah, "What should I say to the woman when I am left alone with her?" He replied, "You should say, 'I marry you for enjoyment according to the Book of God and the tradition of his Prophet, knowing that you inherit nothing and no one inherits from you, for such and such days. And if you like, for such and such years, for such and such dirhams.' You should fix the price that you agree upon, whether little or much. If she says yes, then she accepts; she is your woman and you are worthy of her." I said, "I am ashamed to mention the condition pertaining to the days." He replied, "It is more damaging for you [if you don't do so]." I asked, "How is that?" He answered, "Unless you stipulate [the days], your marriage would be binding, and you will have to pay her alimony during the days of `idda [40 days after divorce], and she would inherit from you, and you would not be able to divorce her except according to the divorce of the Sunna [or tradition]."(21)

The jurists say that it is unlawful to enjoy a Jewish or a Christian woman. Al-Hasan al-Taflis said, "I asked al-Ridha, 'Can a Jewish or a Christian woman be married for enjoyment?' He answered, 'Enjoying a free believing woman is more favourable to me, and she is more irreproachable than they are.' "(22)

MARRIAGE IN ISLAM AND RELATED ISSUES IN ISLAM....RIGHTS AND DUTIES


CHAPTER FOUR

Marriage

Table of Contents

The Qur´an uses two words to designate the marriage contract: zawaj (meaning marriage) and nikah (meaning wedlock). The word nikah is the most frequently used one in the Sharia. It denotes four things in the Qur´an, according to the experts of Islamic fiqh: marriage, sexual intercourse, bestowal, and marriageable age. As to the first meaning, the Qur´an says, "Do not marry idolatresses until they believe" (Sura al-Baqara 2:221). The same meaning is found in Sura al-Nisa´ 4:25, where it says, "So marry them, with their people's leave," and Sura al-Nisa´ 4:3, "Marry such women as seem good to you....." Also in Sura al-Nur 24:3, "A fornicator may only marry a fornicatress."

The second meaning of the word nikah, which is sexual intercourse, occurs in Sura al-Baqara 2:230, "Until she marries another husband." In this verse the actual sexual intercourse between husband and wife is meant.

The third meaning, marriage of bestowal, is found in Sura al-Ahzab 33:50, "And any woman believer, if she give herself to the Prophet, and if the Prophet desire to take her in marriage, for thee exclusively, apart from the believers." This sort of bestowal is lawful only for the Prophet.

The fourth meaning, marriageable age, is in Sura al-Nisa´ 4:6, "Test well the orphans, until they reach they reach the age of marrying."(1)

Jurists are in unanimous agreement on the fact that nikah means sexual intercourse and that it is used to denote the marriage contract as a figure of speech because the marriage contract is the legal means for having intercourse.(2) Nikah is permissible only after the marriage contract, concluded between the bridegroom and the bride (al-`aqidan), and the bride's guardian in the presence of at least two witnesses. Nikah has two elements without which it cannot be fulfilled: the first is al-´ijab (response), which is the utterance coming from the guardian or his substitute, and the second is qubul (consent), which is the utterance coming from the husband or his proxy. Then the husband has to pay a bridal gift and a marriage portion.(3) The consent of the bride's guardian is essential for making the marriage contract legal, because "Wedlock cannot be concluded except through a guardian."(4) The subject of the marriage contract will be treated in detail later on. Marriage is not a sacrament in Islam as it is in the Catholic church; rather it is a solemn agreement or binding compact that should not be tampered with. The Qur´an says, "You have had intercourse with each other, and they have made a solemn agreement with you" (Sura al-Nisa´ 4:21). Wedlock in Islam is based on civil contract, which need not be recorded in writing.(5)

CHAPTER FIVE

The Rights a Man Acquires over his Wife

Table of Contents

Jurists have dealt with the rights of husbands and wives over each other and emphasised the rights of the husband over her wife. Evidence of this fact is the statement of al-Shafi`i: "Wedlock is a sort of bondage [slavery]." She is his slave. A wife ought to obey her husband absolutely in everything he asks of her concerning herself, provided it does not entail disobedience to God.(1) There are Hadiths supporting this position: "God does not regard a woman who does not thank her husband, since she cannot do without him."(2) "It is not permissible that humans should bow down before humans. If humans were permitted to bow down before humans, the wife would have been commanded to bow down before her husband because of his great right over her."(3)`A´isha narrated: "I asked the Prophet, 'Who among people has the greatest right over the woman?' He answered, 'Her husband.' I asked, 'Who has the greatest right over the man?' He answered, 'His mother.' "(4) In Ihya´ `ulum al-din, we read, "There was once a certain man who set out on a journey after having covenanted with his wife that she should not come down from upstairs to downstairs. Her father was downstairs. When he fell ill, the woman sent for the Messenger of God asking his permission to go down to see her father. The Messenger of God said, 'Obey your husband.' The father died. She tried again to get permission from him to see her father, but he said again, 'Obey your husband.' Her father was buried. The Messenger of God sent a message to her that her father was forgiven on account of her obedience to her husband."(5) In al-Ghazzali's opinion, the obedience of the wife to her husband is one of the pillars of faith. "If the woman performs her five [prayers], fasts her month, keeps her genitalia [remains chaste] and obeys her husband, she enters the heaven of her Lord."(6) Al-Ghazzali attributes this narrative to Muhammad. In another narrative, `A´isha said, quoting Muhammad, "A girl asked the Messenger of God, 'O Messenger of God, what right does a husband have over his wife?' He said, 'If he was covered from the parting [of his hair] to the bottom of his feet with matter [or pus], and she licked him, she still has not thanked him enough.' "(7) Ibn Abbas narrated, "A woman from Khath`am came to the Prophet of God, and asked him, saying, 'I am not a virgin, and I want to be married off. What is the right of the husband [over the wife]?' He answered, 'The right a husband acquires over the wife is that she should not keep herself away from him [even] if they were on the back of a camel and he desired her and tried to take her. It is his right that she should not give anything belonging to his house except by his permission; if she does so [without his permission], she will be guilty and he will get the reward. It is his right also that she should not fast voluntarily except by his permission; and if she fasts and goes hungry and thirsty, it will not be accepted of her. If she goes out from his house without his permission, the angels curse her till she comes back to his house or repents.' "(8) In a weak tradition Muhammad is said to have stated that "the woman is nearest to her Lord's Face when she is in the innermost part of her home. Her prayer in the courtyard of her house is better than her prayer in the mosque, and her prayer in her home is better than her prayer in the courtyard of her house, and her prayer in her chamber is even better than her prayer in her home."(9)

Perhaps this stress on keeping the woman confined to her chamber stems from the statement of the Prophet of Islam: "The woman has ten nakednesses; when she marries the husband covers one nakedness, and when she dies the grave covers all ten of them."(10)

Al-Ghazzali lists the rights a husband acquires over his wife as follows:

The rights a husband acquires over his wife are numerous. The most important are two: The first is protection and covering, and the second one is desisting from demanding anything that is beyond the needful, and refraining from what he earns if it were from an unlawful source. This was the way of women in the past. When a man would go out of his home, his wife and daughter would say to him, "Beware of ill-gotten gain; we can endure hunger and hardship, but we can by no means endure the Fire." A man in the past went on a journey. His neighbours resented his departure, and said to his wife, 'Why do you consent to his travelling although he left you no provision?" She replied, "I have known my husband as an eater, not as a provider, and I have a God that provides for me. The eater will perish and the Provider will remain." One of the duties of the wife is not to squander his money but keep it. The Messenger of God said, "She is not allowed to feed [people] from [the provision of] his house except by his permission, barring damp food that is about to rot. If she feeds by his approval, she receives the same reward as he. If she feeds without his permission, he receives the reward and she the guilt." Her parents have the obligation to teach her good conduct and pleasant treatment of the husband.

Some of the rights he acquires over her are:

She should keep her husband's honour in his absence, seek his pleasure in all her affairs, not deal unfaithfully with him in terms of herself or his money, and not go outdoors except by his permission. When she goes out by his permission, she should be shabbily dressed and should seek secluded areas, keeping away from the streets and the market-places, and should be careful not to let a stranger hear her voice or recognise her. On her errands, she should not let herself be known to her husband's friends, but rather conceal her identity from anyone she thinks knows her or vice versa. Her main concern ought to be how to mind her affairs and manage her home, eager to perform her prayer and her fasting. If her husband's friend happens to ask for permission [to come in] while her husband is not there, she ought not to inquire or answer his question out of jealousy over herself and her husband. She should be content with the provision God gives her husband, promoting her husband's rights over her own and her family's rights, observing cleanliness of her body, ready always to let him enjoy her whenever he desires, having compassion for her children, being protective over them, refraining from cursing the children or contradicting her husband. Muhammad said, "Both I and a woman with burnt cheeks, such as these, will be in heaven-- a woman who was hated by her husband, locked herself up, and tended to her daughters until they married [or died]." He also said, "God has forbidden all mankind from entering heaven before me, yet I will look to my right and behold a woman will go ahead of me to the gate of paradise. Then I will say, 'Why is this one going ahead of me?' And it will be answered, 'O Muhammad, this is a fair and beautiful woman who cared for orphans and was patient with them till they reached their destiny, and God thanked her for this.' " The accepted standard of behaviour from her is that she should not boast over her husband for her beauty, or despise him for his ugliness. Then I knew she was a godly woman who had a husband for whom she adorned herself.

She should practice good behaviour and keep herself secluded in her husband's absence, and to return to playfulness and exhilaration [which bring pleasure] in her husband's presence. She is not to hurt her husband by any means. Mu`ads Ibn Jabal narrates, "The Messenger of God said, 'Whenever a woman hurts her husband, his wife of the wide-eyed houris says, "Do not hurt him. May God fight you [or damn you]! With you he is a passer-by, who is about to leave you to come to us.' "(11)

The Hanafite jurist al-Kasani sums up man's rights over his wife in this statement: "He has the right to look at her and touch her in her lifetime, because intercourse [which is established already as his good right] is beyond looking and touching. And since it [i.e. intercourse] has been established as lawful, then looking and touching are established as so after the same manner. It is disputable, however, whether to take pleasure in her apart from the sexual organs when she has her menstrual period or in child-birth. Among these rights is "the possession of pleasure", which means that the husband has the exclusive right to all of her body for the purpose of pleasure, or the possession of herself or her soul as a right for self-gratification, an opinion which is agreed upon by all our theological leaders, for the purposes of intercourse cannot be fulfilled without these.(12) Among these rights is keeping her locked and confined, which means the right to forbid her from going out in public. This is based on God's command to "house women" (Sura al-Talaq 65:6). The command to "house" them actually forbids a woman from going out and showing herself in public, because the command to do a certain thing forbids one from doing its opposite. Were she not forbidden from going out in public, she would be a temptation, and parentage of the children would be in doubt, for this makes a man suspicious and causes him to deny his parentage.(13) The man has the right to forbid his wife and daughters from going out so that there should be no temptation, and because of the danger of "the disorder of parentage."(14)

At the end of this chapter I would like to present a list of a woman's duties to her husband as quoted from a book recently published in Arabic. These are the things she should not do:

  1. She should avoid standing on the balcony.
  2. She should conceal herself while welcoming men at the door.
  3. She should not go out after she has used perfume.
  4. She should wear her dresses long and not imitate unbelieving women.
  5. She should not speak in a loud voice.
  6. She should not walk in the middle of the road.
  7. She should not mingle with men or shake hands with them.

The author then lists in brief what she should do in the following:

  1. Speak softly and honourably when you are walking.
  2. Walk by the side of the road, and keep away from the middle.
  3. Beware of standing by the door to welcome guests.
  4. Do not go out of your home frequently for unnecessary things.
  5. Do not lower your veil outside your house under any circumstances whatever.
  6. When you stand in the balcony, take care what you wear.
  7. Beware of shaking hands with strange men. Don't travel without a guardian relative. These two actions are abominations and are the pitfalls of the women of our time.
  8. Watch not to waste your time uselessly; so praise [God] and ask for His pardon frequently in an inaudible voice.
  9. Avoid turning around and always look down.
  10. You are weak and in need of your Lord's mercy; so raise your hands up to Him constantly asking for His pardon for your guilt, and for health for your good deeds.(15)

CHAPTER SIX

The Rights a Woman Acquires over her Husband

Table of Contents

Muhammad said in his final address, "And now, people, you acquire certain rights over your wives, and they do you. The right you acquire over them is that they should not let someone you hate sleep in your beds, and not to commit a manifest obscenity [or adultery]. If they do [commit it], then God has given you permission to leave them alone in their beds and give them a beating, though not too hard. If they give over, they get their provision and clothing with kindness; I command you good-will for your wives, for they are your captives(1) that do not own anything of their own. You have taken them by the faithfulness of God, and made their sexual organs lawful for you by the words of God."(2)

`Abdullah Ibn `Amr Ibn al-`As narrated: "The Messenger of God said to me, 'O `Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast daily during the day and offer prayers every night throughout the Fast?' `Abdullah replied, 'Yes, O Messenger of God!' The Prophet said, 'Don't do that; fast for few days and then give it up for few days, offer prayers and also sleep at night, as your body requires, and your wife has her rights.' "(3) Hakim Ibn Mu`awiya al-Qushayri, quoting his father, said, "I said, 'O Messenger of God, what is the right that the wife of any of us acquires over him?' He replied, 'To feed and clothe her, if you yourself have food and clothing. Do not slap her on the face, nor utter obscenities to her, nor desert her except inside the house.' "(4)

Protection by the husband is one of the rights that the woman acquires. Muhammad said, "I warn you about the right of the two weak ones: the orphan and the women."(5) Sexual intercourse is another right she has over him, because it is the duty of the husband as long as he has no excuse. Malik holds this same opinion.(6) If he travels for any reason or for any necessity, she must forego this right no matter how long his journey lasts. But if he has no substantial excuse, and makes excuses for not having intercourse several times, then they can be separated [by law].(7) If he has a free woman for wife, he has to sleep with her once every four nights, and if he has four wives, each of them receive one night every four nights.(8) He should treat his wives justly. Muhammad said in the Hadith, "If a man has two wives, and he shows favour to one against the other, he will come on the Resurrection Day with a limp."(9)

CHAPTER SEVEN

The Importance of Marriage in Islam

Table of Contents

Marriage, according to the Qur´an, is a desirable thing: "Marry the spouseless among you, and your slaves and handmaidens that are righteous" (Sura al-Nur 24:32). It is the religious tradition (sunna) of the Prophet Muhammad: "Wedlock [nikah] is my tradition in religion; whoever does not apply my law has no part with me. Marry, because I will vie the nations in number by you. Whoever has the ability to marry, let him marry, and whoever has not the ability, let him resort to fasting; for fasting is as good as castration."(1) Marriage is also half of the faith: "When the servant marries, he completes half of his religion; so let him fear God in the remaining half."(2) According to the jurists it is an obligation when one has a strong desire; namely one is guilty if he has a desire for a certain woman, is financially able to fulfill it (in marriage), but does not marry. He has committed a cardinal sin.(3)

Muhammad has prohibited celibacy.(4) In Hadith we read: "There will be none in paradise but have two wives; he will be able to see their legs even if they are behind seventy garments."(5) In Musnad of Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, it says, "Our tradition [sunna] is wedlock. The most evil among you are those who are celibate, and the vilest among your dead are those who are celibate."(6) Muhammad once asked a man named `Akaf if he was married, the man replied, "No, by God." He asked, "Do you have a concubine?" The man answered, "No." Muhammad asked, "Are you well off?" He said, "Yes." Muhammad said, "You are, then, a brother of the devils. And if you are a Christian, you are also their brother.(7) But if you are one of us, our life-style is giving in marriage."(8) Muhammad aroused men's interest in marriage because women bring blessing and wealth: "Marry women because they bring possession"(9) and "Two prostrations by a married man are better than seventy by someone who is single."(10)

We learn from the stories of tradition that marriage is not only the law of Muhammad, but the law of all the prophets, as well. "Whoever embraces my religion, and the religion of David, Solomon, and Abraham let him marry so long as he can; otherwise let him fight for the cause of God. If he is martyred [dies in war], God will wed him to the wide-eyed houris. The only exception to this is that if he attends to his parents or if he is under binding obligation to people."(11) So the one who does not marry exposes himself to the curse of God and the angels: "The curse of God and of angels and of all the people is upon anyone who lives in celibacy-- there is no celibacy after John, the son of Zachariah."(12)

The most important reason for marriage is bearing children. Jabir narrated, "While we were returning with the Messenger of God from a certain incursion, I started driving my camel fast, as it was a lazy one. A rider came behind me... Behold the rider was the Prophet himself. He said, 'Why are you in such haste?' I replied, 'I am newly married.' He asked, 'Did you marry a virgin or matron [a previously married woman]?' I answered, 'She is a matron.' He said, 'Then, [seek to beget] children! Children, O Jabir.' "(13)

It seems that in oriental societies it is a tradition and a part of their history to despise and suspect celibates! Anyone who does not marry exposes himself to all sorts of accusations. Ibrahim Ibn Masarra narrated, "Tawus said to me, 'Get married or else I will say to you what `Umar said to Abu al-Zawa´id: "The only thing that keeps you from marrying is impotence or lasciviousness." ' "(14)

CHAPTER EIGHT

The Importance of Marriage from the Viewpoint of the Jurists

Table of Contents

The jurists say: "The only worship that has been instituted since the time of Adam till now, which will continue in paradise, is wedlock and faith."(1) Ibn Humam says about the relationship of wedlock to worship, "It is the closest thing to worship; so that occupying oneself with it is better than abandoning it for mere worship."(2)The importance and high position that the jurists place on wedlock (nikah) lie in its being "A cause for the existence of Islam and the Muslim." It is, therefore, preferred to worship and fighting (Jihad). It is the cause of the existence of the Muslim and Islam, while Jihad only furthers Islam.(3) In Radd al-muhtar, the author says, "It has been preferred to Jihad. Both of them are the cause of the existence of the Muslim and Islam, because the result of the marriage of one single Muslim is much more than the result of fighting. In Jihad you only kill and subdue non-Muslims."(4)

Moreover, there are "other interests regarding wedlock, such as keeping women and oneself from fornication. Wedlock is the only means of obtaining pleasure."(5) There are others, as well, who claim that wedlock is a religious obligation just like fasting, praying, and the other requirements of faith; so that any who abandon it, being capable of paying the marriage portion, supporting a wife, and having intercourse, is considered guilty of sin. Shafi`i, however, thinks it is merely permissible, just like selling or bargaining. They infer that it is a religious duty or obligation from the fact that one is enjoined to abstain from fornication. They say, "Since abstaining from fornication is a religious imperative, and since this can only be attained by wedlock, then that which is the only means to attain to a religious imperative, is also an imperative."(6) The jurists, however, think that nikah cannot possibly mean lust; if it were so, they argue, the Prophet, who married more than one wife, should have sufficed himself with one wife.(7) Yet, it seems that there is no real agreement among the jurists that nikah is a religious obligation or duty. Those who disagree on the issue of having to marry as an incumbent religious obligation quote Sura Al Imran 3:39, "The angels called him [Zachariah] while he was standing praying at the shrine: 'God gives news of John, who will confirm word from God, masterful yet circumspect [hasur, i.e. celibate], and a prophet [chosen] from among honourable people.' " "This Qur´anic statement points out the celibacy of John as a merit worthy of praise. Hasur means someone who does not have sexual relations with women in spite of being able to do so. If nikah was a religious obligation, then John wouldn't have been praised on the account of abandoning it; since abandoning an obligation is worthy of blame rather than praise."(8) Al-Sarakhsi rejects this view and argues that "nikah is the tradition of Muhammad, while celibacy was the tradition of John. A Muslim has to follow the tradition of Muhammad."(9) The consensus of jurists agree that the increase of the nation is for the public good, since Muhammad will boast over the rest of the nations on the Day of Resurrection because of the large number of his nation."(10)



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Friday, April 24, 2009

Islam and Divorce

Islam and Divorce


By:

Sayyid Mujtaba Musavi Lari

The first point this chapter must make is that divorce is contrary to the laws of nature. The annulling of the marriage-bond and the separation of those who should be life-partners is a denial of the true nature of man as created and as at his best. Any society in which divorces become numerous, with the consequent break-up of families, evidences its deviation from nature and her requirements.

Psychologists, jurists and sociologists, concerned by the effects of divorce on the moral and juridical personality of those involved, have gone deep into the subject, and given it as their considered verdict that the ejection of a man and wife, let alone the children, from the warmth of home-life into the cold unwelcome of any substitute establishment they may find, deals a mortal blow to their spirits and exposes their children to the onset of moral ailments and psychic traumas against which family life had immunised and protected them. These scientists further hold, almost to a man, that for these reasons divorce should be rendered practically impossible by severe sanctions, except in a few cases where some cause, generally from outside, like the onslaught of insanity or criminality, makes an exception to the rule.

But what should be done in cases of irreparable breakdown of relationships? Must the partners stay in the hell they have made? Or may a way-out be found for them? Christianity says blankly. "No divorce!" But Islam more realistically faces the consequences of irreparable breakdown as a fact, and provides a way-out. Every possible safeguard is laid down in the statute book to prevent such a way-out by divorce being abused. But it is clear that the bankruptcy of the relationship is only worsened by forcing the partners to stick together; and their misery is only increased. Hence divorce, though stigmatised as " the most loathsome of states in the eyes of the Lord" is made possible when it is the better of two bad roads. It may even be that the very separation removes the cause of the irritation between man and wife, while the lapse of time in absence softens the hearts and recalls the good points which had been lost under the pains of discord; so that the couple seek reunion, and in some cases actually start the same partnership up again in pardon and joy.

Since Islam's aim is the firm establishment of marriages, in the interests of this objective certain liberties are denied. The right of divorce is given to the man only, except in very exceptional cases. This is to safeguard the best interests of women and save them from falling victim to passions. Manifestly, if two people both have the right to institute divorce proceedings, the basis of confidence is made very shaky on both sides. What better safeguard can there be, therefore, than to give the right of divorce proceedings primarily to the one who has by nature more subjection to the powers of reason, and patience in the face of lack of tenderness; and who stands to lose the sum he has given as a marriage portion, as well as having to undertake the financial burdens of the children's upbringing?

The differences in the constitution of a man and woman are manifest. The head takes first place in the man's decisions and the heart in the woman's. Reason and emotion are the gifts given to each respectively in their creation. As Dr. Alexis Carrel puts it: "The differences between men and women are, obviously, the physical ones : and then, less obviously, the internal ones like the dispositions of the nerves, the different mental and emotional talents, both of which are of supreme importance for the future of civilisation. Partisans of Women's Liberation aim at a false conception of equality,. as if that desirable condition meant precise similarity and identity in upbringing, employment, responsibilities and duties." ("Man, the Unknown" pp. 84-87).

It is for these reasons that Islam's Feqh lays down: "Divorce is in the hand of the man." And it is in consideration of the woman's delicacy of spirit that the power of ending a shared life is not granted to her. Islam, in addition to the manifold measures it has taken to make it easier for people to enter the married state and start families, also makes it more difficult to break up the home. Everything possible is done to ensure happy sound home-life, for the sake of the family's members and of the society to which they belong. It is therefore that it is written in Sura IV: Nisa'a -"The Women", verse 19. "O men, live with your wives in kindness and equity. If you dislike anything in them, that may be the very point which God will use to bring about much blessing."

In order to take away such feelings of dislike and prevent their turning to hatred, and to remove their discomfort, Islam awakens the man's conscience to live in kindness and equity with patience, and not to cast off a wife who is temporarily in disfavour, since it may be that goodness and blessing may come through those very wives; so that it would be stupid to end the relationship hastily. As is written in the same Sura IV Nisa'a -"The Women", verse 128: "If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no obstacle to their arranging an amicable settlement between them for which the wife must renounce some of her rights. But if they return through reconciliation and peace through such unselfishness, such a settlement is better than separation and divorce."

The same dislike of divorce, as the most detestable of extreme measures to be adopted only in the direst emergency, is advanced by all Islam's greatest jurist-consults and leaders, an attitude summed up in the sentence in the book "Mustadrak" (Vol. 3, p.2): "Any woman who seeks to be divorced from her husband, save in cases of extreme necessity, falls out of the grace and mercy of the Lord." Or again in Vol. 3 of the "Vassa'el" (p.144): "Enter upon matrimony. but do not divorce your wives, since divorce shakes the very throne Of God."

Islam fences in the man's power of divorce with many limiting safeguards. A man may not put away his wife by violence, harassment, injury or in a way which may drive her to a life of immorality and corruption. Thus Islam has for centuries surpassed anything yet achieved in Western countries, in its initiative to remove differences and restore understanding in family life. This is particularly true of the family courts, where well-meaning relatives have a large say and everything is done to bring about reconciliation. Causes of differences are deeply studied; and, as relatives, they are able to go deep into confidential matters without either of the couple feeling that their private secrets are being exposed or their feelings excoriated in too public an ambience. When the causes of the difference have been brought into the light of day the members of the family court exert all their powers of sincerity and' heart and affection to bring about reconciliation and to quench the fires of temper, exhorting both sides to unselfishness, tolerance, and an effort to understand each other's point of view. Since both man and wife respect these elders and have full confidence in their compassionate affection, they frequently accept the family court' s recommendations for adjustments they should make in their relationships and behaviour towards each other. As it is written in Sura IV. Nisa'a-"The Women" (verse 35): "Should you fear that division will arise amongst them, appoint an arbitrator on the husband's side and an arbitrator on the wife's side from amongst their relatives and send them to them. As soon as they desire peace and reconciliation the Lord will vouchsafe it to them for He is all-knowing and all-wise."

Should the causes and roots of the initiation of divorce proceedings prove to be too deep, so that there is an irreparable breakdown in marital relationships, and all the efforts of the relatives fail to bring about any sort of hope of reconciliation, Islam in its realism recognises that each party must take their own road. It must be plain that such a family court is far more likely to succeed than all the public courts of law or marriage guidance clinics. In fact these only too often, being strangers to the family and not privy to their inmost secrets, merely increase the rift, because of the clumsiness of their well-meaning efforts. A public court has the duty to hear the evidences produced by both sides; and then, in the cold dry heartless atmosphere in which only exact truth and not mercy or clemency reigns, decide which side has most right and give verdict accordingly. It has neither the heart nor the spiritual influence of relatives to press for reconciliation, and cure the causes of the quarrel. In the Qur'an, Sura LXV "Talaq" -"Divorce" ordains in verse 2: "Two just persons from amongst yourselves shall bear witness to the evidence before God when a divorce is settled." Without these two witnesses, there is no legal divorce. An advantage of their appointment is that they can exert every pressure of affection and wisdom to avert the final catastrophe for quite a period before reluctantly, if they have to do so, agreeing that there is no other way out. They frequently succeed in the better course.

It is further laid down that no divorce may be made absolute save after the woman' s period of purification after menstruation or childbirth is completed. This need to wait awhile often proves a breathing-space in which the man's feelings of tenderness once more assert themselves over his irritations, and make him decide against divorce.

Further when a man finds sharing his life with a particular woman wearisome and irksome and decides on divorce, this decision of his does not suffice in itself to end their living together not does it become effective until the expiry of the "Iddat", i.e. the period fixed by the Feqh during which a divorced or widowed woman may not be married to another man: and this period also gives a breathing-space which frequently results in the man's change of heart and decision to continue the married bond with the wife he planned to divorce.

Finally, after the execution of the formalities for a "revocable divorce" (Talaq-i-raj') a man may not expel his wife from the home until the termination of the period of the "iddat" which may last anything up to three months, nor may the wife quit their joint home except in a desperately exceptional case during that period. As the Sura LXV "Talaq" "Divorce" enacts (verse 1): "You may not expel women from their houses, nor may they themselves quit, except if they have been proven guilty of some open lewdness (during the "iddat" period). These are limits set by God. Should any man transgress these limits he does so at the peril of his own soul, and to his own harm : for you know not whether God may bring about some new situation later (than the decision to divorce)."

No formalities are necessary to abrogate a revocable divorce during these months. A mere indication of desire for renewal of the marriage relationship by the man suffices.

Should the wife feel such hatred for her husband that she repays him the statutory portion of marriage settlement he had given her, or a portion of her own property, that counts as her divorcing him; but this type of divorce is revocable within the stated period, so that if she changes her mind, and her husband agrees, he can still take her back into their home.

By these many means Islam safeguards the holy estate of matrimony from shipwreck on the rock of hasty decisions onto which emotional storms may drive some couples.

Islam had also done much to protect the wife's rights and to save her from having to continue to live in an unhappy environment. Among beneficent measures are the following:

1. the wife can insert a clause in the marriage contract ensuring that

(a) incompatibility of temperament 
(b) maltreatment 
(c) refusal of maintenance 
(d) unannounced journeys 
(e) the taking of another wife without consultation

are so provided against that if any of the above five conditions is broken she can approach a lawyer to obtain a divorce for her through the courts.

2. the wife can make it impossible for her husband not to divorce her by being intolerably refractory, vexatiously shrewish or deliberately incompatible in relationships, familial, sexual or social;

3. the wife can resort to the courts if the husband has been incapable or negligent in supplying her with maintenance or has put obstacles in the way of her obtaining it ; or if either partner deprives the other of conjugal rights or fails in marital duties; the Muslim Qadhi, if the woman' s plea is proved, can compel the husband to treat her right, to be reconciled, to disburse the proper sums, to confer her rights upon her in every form : and if the husband proves recalcitrant, or refuses to obey the judge's orders, the judge can then compel him to divorce his wife;

4. the wife can enter a plea in the Islamic court and obtain an injunction if the husband accuses her of lewdness, unchastity or unfaithfulness, or denies his own paternity of her child : if the husband cannot prove his case the judge will order the husband to separate himself from his wife in accordance with the relevant legislation;

5. the wife may, in the case of intolerable revulsion or aversion, in a simple fashion bring about a discontinuance of their union by renouncing a large part of her marriage portion, while freeing her husband from his obligation to pay her alimony during the "Iddat" breathing-space period;

6 the wife, if the husband absents himself so that no news of him reaches her and she falls into financial or other difficulties, can resort to the courts and request a divorce. the judge will then perform the necessary formalities to annul her marriage contract.

It is written in Sura II: "Baqara" -"The Heifer" (verse 229): "A divorce is only permissible twice : after that the parties should either hold together in equity or separate in kindness. It is not lawful for you men to take back from your wives any of that portion which you have given them except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the God-ordained limits. If you judges have reason to fear that the parties will be unable to keep the God-ordained limits, so decree, for there will be no blame on either of them if she hands over a sum in exchange for her freedom. These limits are God-ordained so do not transgress them since that is to wrong yourself as well as others."

In the "Exegetical Collection" it is related in Volume I on page 167 that Ibn Abbas reported that JameelĂ©, wife of Thabit bin Qais, sought audience of the Prophet and complained to him: "O Apostle of God! I cannot stand one moment more of life with Thabit bin Qais, nor shall my head ever rest again on the same pillow as his." After a pause she added : "I am not accusing him of a lack of faith or of moral and marital virtues: but I am afraid that I myself will fall into infidelity and blasphemy if I have to spend another minute with him. I turned up the tent-skirting and my eye fell on my husband in the middle of a crowd of other men. He looked so ugly, a black-avised, dwarfish runt, and I hated him, and I can't go on. ...!" She ran on thus, and the Prophet, after absorbing her outpouring, tried to advise and admonish her, but she paid him no heed. So he sent for Thabit bin Qais and laid the situation before him. Thabit was deeply attached to JameelĂ©, but self-sacrificingly and for her sake agreed to take back the marriage portion he had settled upon her - a beautiful garden - and give her a khul' divorce.

There are cases in which resort to the court by the wife is statutory. There are also cases in which she can divorce her husband without legal aid, as in cases of certain grave chronic diseases like leprosy or elephantiasis; or because of the onset of lunacy, or of physical defects which prevent marital intercourse, like impotence or castration of the husband. For these Feqh gives the wife haqq-i-faskh - the right to the rescinding or annulment of the marriage, which "faskh" is not the same as the khul' divorce, and does not involve the same financial renunciations by the wife as khul' does.

Germany and Switzerland, in Europe, also recognise lunacy as grounds for the annulment of a marriage or for separation. France does not admit either grave chronic disease or lunacy as an adequate ground, and insists that the healthy spouse must care for the leprous or lunatic partner. Undoubtedly such longsuffering and lovingkindness is highly praise worthy. while extolling it as a counsel of perfection, Islamic realism prefers to leave the partners free to choose separation or continued care, according to their own conscience.

The West is suffering terribly from the laxity it has allowed in the break-up of marriages and the violently increasing incidence of divorce. These disasters are really reactions to over-pressure by the churches, which prohibited and condemned divorce one hundred percent for many centuries, while the secular governments gave recognition to it. For instance, divorce was totally prohibited in France until the French Revolution of October 1789. In 1804, in response to popular demand, divorce was legalised; but in the following 12 years it increased so appallingly that the religious bodies brought renewed pressure to bear, until in 1816 the law legalising divorce was rescinded though physical separation of the parties was permitted. However, public pressure built up again so much that in 1884 divorce within certain limits was legalised once more.

Here follow the conditions on which in Western lands divorce for wife and husband was legal until recent times:

1. a criminal act committed by either party which involves the penalty of life-imprisonment, exile, loss of civil rights or temporary imprisonment with hard labour.

2. physical violence, mercenary prostitution, and a few other similar criminal acts of the one partner against the other.

3. adultery by either partner - though in such cases the wife has the right of divorce only if the man commits adultery with another woman in the house which belongs to his wife and himself.

The following is the road by which a wife's infidelity was proved : note it well! "The infidelity of a wife must be proved completely in the eyes of the police. The wife or the husband plan to be in different places for however a short time. They must agree about some third person to be cited as co-respondent and this person must be prepared to undertake this service. And then at the stated hour the wife must be caught in flagrante delictu with the third party', and the husband must have the police on the spot to catch her out and so prove her infidelity. Thus the police accompany the husband to the trysting-place; and when they catch the wife in flagrante delictu this is accounted adequate grounds for her husband divorcing her." (The Law of Divorce and Renewal of Marriage p.99).

See what a mass of further impurities the impurity which wrought the need for divorce in the first place has carried in its train. And this is the "civilised" world of the West, which allows women entry into public and political life, and with the other hand takes away her honour, her femininity and the high standards which it should be her privilege to set, and turns her chastity into a mercenary bargaining-point. It must be admitted that since I first put pen to paper on this matter, efforts have been made in many Western lands to eradicate the worst of these abominations.

America makes divorce easier for both parties. It is not surprising, therefore, that American divorce figures are the highest of all.

The wise tremble at the results : the wisdom of Islamic dispositions shines by contrast like the sun in darkness. At a conference in Strasburg, statistics of one year's divorces which could be attributed to the overwhelming desire of wives to be "in the fashion" "a la mode", "comme il faut" and to "keep up with the Joneses" in modernity of garb and guise were quoted as being:

1. in France, 27% of all divorces;
2. in Germany, 33%;
3. in Holland, 36%; 
4. in Sweden, 17%.

Not every Parisienne is an excessive slave of fashion. Nonetheless it is reckoned that the costs of unnecessary purchases made by women simply to keep up with "mode" come to no less than 5,000 tomans per head (£300-£400 per head per annum). Yet all this expenditure adds nothing to the woman's natural beauty, moral stature, ease of spirit or calm mind!

European statesmen, and responsible thinkers everywhere, are well aware of the danger, and fear it acutely. All who possess the slightest sense of philanthropy must seek the means of stemming the sweeping tide of this flood of evil through the world.

Islam offers its regulations on family life, matrimony, and the respective positions of men and women, as a way which all nations might do well to follow remembering that it was a Westerner Voltaire, who said: "The Prophet Muhammad reduced the unlimited harems of unfortunate women maintained by pre-Islamic potentates to a maximum of four wives: and his legislation on marriages and divorces is the most noble and effective ever conceived, formulated and enacted by any authority at any time in the world's history, religious, political or social."